Sunday, November 19, 2006

Top 10 Reasons to PWN gay marriages

Top 10 reasons why Gay Marriages should be Illegal.

01) Being gay is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazybehavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage wereallowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans. .







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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Darth Vader PWNs his son

I was watching the Return of the Jedi, and the following sequence occurred.

Darth Vader: A small rebel force has penetrated the shield and landed on Endor.
The Emperor: Yes, I know.
Darth Vader: My son is with them.
The Emperor: Are you sure?
Darth Vader: I have felt him. *sic*

Drat, I can't stop laughing at this......

Steve Ballmer PWNs by squirting with his Zune

"I want to squirt you a picture of my kids. You want to squirt me back a video of your vacation. That's [an] experience,"
[more]

Now scroll down for the mental image of Steve Ballmer squirting at you......





Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Samsung PWNs North Korea

" Samsung and Korea University has co-developed a $200,000 USD robotic machine gun sentry which will be available late in 2007. The South Korean government plans to deploy these friendly reminders on the border between South and North Korea, to further ease relations between the countries." [more]

Manual Reads:
Samsung Robotic Sentry powered using Sony batteries. Will self-destruct.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

NY Times article Pwns Singapore

November 8, 2006
Singapore Takes on Crows; One Down, 34,999 to Go
By SETH MYDANS
SINGAPORE — "Garbage bin! Garbage bin!"

The men with shotguns tumbled from the Land Rover in a crouch and trotted along beside it like marines taking cover behind a Humvee.

"Don't let them see your gun, they know about guns!" whispered the leader, Dennis Lim, a 20-year veteran of this kind of thing.

He jumped from behind the van, whirled and fired, "pop!" But his prey — seven or eight crows sitting on a trash bin — were gone.

"They're smart birds," Mr. Lim said. "One of them saw us and alerted the others. He started flying and the others started flying."

Mr. Lim, 54, is on the front lines of a battle for his country's territorial integrity, a member of the Singapore Gun Club who has been enlisted to help reduce an infestation that at one point climbed to 150,000.

The club is one of the few places here that permits private weapons, though owners must lock them up before they leave. In 1982 the government asked the club to take on the crows, and Mr. Lim has been hunting them down almost from the start.

Now he is standing by for a new challenge, the possibility of bird flu and the need to secure Singapore against migrating birds, perhaps by shooting them out of the sky.

"I don't know what our assignment will be," he said. "The club has a contingency plan, all 50 shooters. The shooters will move if necessary, but I don't know what we will do."

But that is a concern for the future. The current scourge is not a trivial one for Singapore.

Crows are everything that Singapore is not — raucous, undisciplined, dirty and disorderly — and they are not welcome here.

They are the most annoying pest in this highly regulated city state of four million people, and unlike the human population they do not respond to government campaigns and directives. So they have to be shot.

"I myself have killed, I would say, about 40,000 of them," Mr. Lim said, working in spare time from his job as a Web site editor.

His one-day record, he said, is 197 birds, "shot, retrieved and collected."

But no matter how many he shot, the eggs kept coming.

"There's no way you can kill all the crows in Singapore," he said.

At every nook and corner of Singapore, mother crows are laying eggs.

Crows cluster near the Somerset subway station in the heart of the city and, as Mr. Lim said, if you clap your hands, the sky will go black with wings and feathers. They hop around at the outdoor food stalls that give this glass-and-concrete city a human face.

They find sanctuary in shopping areas like Orchard Road that might be called the soul of Singapore and that are off limits to the men with guns.

"The minute you fire at crows in a tourist area you get a thousand police cars," he said. "Everyone will think Osama is here."

From time to time, though, an emergency demands the shooters' attention in the busiest parts of town and the police will clear a kill zone for them among the housing units.

For nearly two decades, Mr. Lim said, the Gun Club kept the crow population stable. But in recent years, the government has hired a private security company to go after the birds full time.

Adding their guns to those of the club and working from dawn to dusk, the security company soon got the upper hand. The crow population is now down to 35,000 or so.

On a recent Saturday, on reclaimed land behind the airport, the Land Rover leaped and jolted over ruts and dunes, an unpaved Singapore few people ever see.

"You see any crows, you stop," Mr. Lim instructed the driver.

"Now, now, now, now!" the driver shouted and Mr. Lim leapt from the car again. The shot was off almost before his feet touched the ground and a bird plopped from the sky.

Over a Coke, Mr. Lim said he wanted people to know that it is not a love of killing that motivates him but a sense of civic duty.

"My wife is a Buddhist and she's against killing," he said. "Occasionally when I go out to do crow culling I do feel a sense of guilt. I try to explain to her that it's something good for the country."

"It's a job that nobody wants to do," he said, "but somebody has to do it."

Teen PWNed stealing wifi

"A 17-year-old from Singapore is is facing three years' jailtime for accessing his neighbor's wireless network. His neighbor complained and now the unfortunate Tan Jia Luo is facing charges under the computer misuse act and is scheduled to appear in court on Wednesday."
[Read More]


Yes, our crime rates has reached new lows with the police chasing after pimpled face teenagers downloading p0rn via their neighbour's wifi.

So here is my new cunning plan to enrich myself with this new devlopment

1. Don't take any of the many simple steps I could take to lock down my network despite the fact that many devices are designed to automatically lock onto any open wireless network.
2. Rename wireless network "free wifi help yourself".
3. Blackmail my neighbours for corridor space. Insist that charges are pressed against my neighbours if they do not comply.
4. Repeat with new neighbours when necessary.